A Funny Story

Okay, this is a true story. It happen to none other than myself and it happened a few years ago.  (And it's just a little exaggerated) (Just a little)

My family was blessed by receiving a free three-wheeler. We owned four acres of land, but my grandpa owned all the woods and fields behind our house. It promised to be great fun, but ended in a stomach ache.

The first one to ride it was my brother. He zoomed around the house. Lesson number one: Three-wheelers are extremely hard to turn. You think you're gona make that turn and you don't. That's just the way it is. So my brother tries to turn it while he's on the edge of our backyard. Of course, he didn't yet know that it was hard to turn. Wham! My brother (related by blood as you'll soon see) smashed through fifteen rows of corn!

Ouch!

Yeah, it might sound like it hurt but that's nothing compared to the 'funny story' I am about to tell you. Nothing! (It may sound funny, even I think it's funny now, but at the time I would've slapped anybody that would've called it 'funny')

So, we'd had the machine for a few weeks. I was confident that I could drive it. I was even doing a few moderate tricks on the thing. I'm driving it in our backyard and we have this trampoline (some of you know where I'm going with this) and to the left of the trampoline was a swing set. There was probably ten feet in between them. Now, if I would have had an hour to think this out I would've just gone around them. But, no. I had about five seconds. So, I decided to try (yes try) to go in between them.

Lesson number two: If you aren't sure that you're going to make it on a running vehicle, bale off!

I saw that I wasn't going to make it. Again, if I would've had an hour to think it over I would've baled off. But, no. I had three seconds. I clenched my eyes shut tight waiting for the metal to meet my flesh. And boy did it.

WHAM!!!

Have you ever had a sibling punch or kick you in the stomach? Yeah, it hurts. Try multiplying it by five. That trampoline took me off the fast flying vehicle at the stomach. Oh, my body hurts just thinking about it. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes (other than a vision of heaven coming near) was the three-wheeler still running underneath the tramp. I jumped to my feet and...the pain. I doubled over and tried to suck in air. Suck, suck suck. But no exhale.

Two of my brothers ran over to me. "What's wrong?" "What do you need?"

If I could've spoke I would've said, "Air, you fouls. I need air!!!"

Well that's pretty much the just of it. I couldn't breathe for at least a minute. Afterwards I figured out lesson number three: Never, EVER, run into a trampoline on a three-wheeler! NEVER!!!